Post #5: A Letter to Network Television Producers

To Whom it May Concern:

I am writing to pitch an idea for a new reality show. Here’s the idea: Put a newlywed couple in a small village in a foreign country. Over a period of 11 days, deprive the couple of different combinations of at least five of the following: oven, phone, internet, car, cash, and hot water. In place of these novelties, give each of the candidates an assortment of physical ailments ranging from poison ivy and lacebite to diarrhea. In addition, ensure that surrounding stores are closed for random and lengthy periods of time throughout the day. In the end, if neither of the two lovebirds has booked a flight home (with a credit card of course, seeing as foreign currency is one of the withheld amenities), they win an impressive sum of money. 

To give the concept a Survivor meets Amazing Race spin, consider featuring multiple couples in a single season and create a winner-takes-all competition setting. Design daily elimination challenges like “Manually Light the Fickle Burner on the Gas Stovetop without Losing the Hairs on your Fingers”. There will be a teary-eyed reflection at the end of each episode where winning and losing couples alike discuss their experience and proclaim their love for one another despite the outcome of the show.Of course, the experience won’t be about the money for any of the contestants. They will simply appreciate that their relationships were strengthened when they faced new challenges together, an opportunity worth more than any monetary prize. In the season finale, the credits will roll while the camera pans out from the winning couple sharing a kiss.

Please note that the length of this trial is an important component to the show’s design because, for the first 6.75 days, living without the listed amenities makes for adventure, not stress in a relationship. The couple will feel empowered by their optimism while living without customary goods and services. The true test lies in the final 4.25 days, during which the initial excitement wears off and the couple realizes that just because they can live without these things doesn’t mean that it’s easy to live without them. Drama inevitably follows from a week of taking cold showers and eating Nutella Sandwiches.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing back from you. Please contact my agent with your offers.


p.s. I would appreciate if you could arrange for the show to be aired on BBC as it is the only channel I get that is not in Italian.


  1. Another great blog! I have so much fun reading and laughing WITH you!!

  2. There could also be a "Road Rules" version that features moving in just-too-small vehicles... :)